Well it has been quite some time since I have posted last and for good reason. Birthdays seem to bring the fun out in some people, I just so happen to be one of those people. I enjoy my friend’s birthdays more than I enjoy my own. I find great pleasure in doing things for others, like volunteering literally hundreds of hours to community service growing up and while in college for the football team. Birthdays, however, are a different form of voluntary community service. When one of my friend’s birthdays rolls around I live by the motto “go big or go home.” I was able to once again live this motto a few weeks ago for a dear friend’s birthday.
Thursday Night:
In Laramie, Wyoming, most students consider Thursday to be a part of the weekend. Now, normally I work at one of the bars on Thursday nights, but given the holiday (my friend’s birthday) I had the night off. I have also recently discovered that Pinnacle Whipped Cream Vodka and root beer makes perhaps the most potent yet delicious drink ever, tasting exactly like a root beer float (kids, do not try this at home). Knowing how deadly just a few of these drinks may be, three friends and I only had a few, partly thanks to a friend I like to call Bully (you know who you are) who kicked over the bottle and lost a quarter of it into the carpet. After watching a little NBA postseason basketball and arguing about how worthless hermit crabs are as pets, we collectively decide to venture out on our pub crawl around Laramie. Although Thursday was quite an interesting night in itself, Friday and the birthday celebration is when things really took a turn for the weird.
Friday Night:
What started as another typical night quickly exploded into one of those nights that I will never forget. Birthday Boy, two other friends, and I followed protocol and began pregaming at Birthday Boy’s house. As a side note, for special occasions, such as this, I like to do something special for the birthday person called the tower of power. The tower of power is a t-shirt that has a checklist of tasks written onto the front of it (usually 12 to 15 tasks), usually starting with a shot count that is equal to the persons age (i.e. 21st birthday means 21 shots). These tasks are all considerably risky to complete and can only be crossed off the list once completed and someone from the birthday party witnesses it. The tower of power has a way of making the person wearing the shirt forget the night and make the night memorable for all of those who are not wearing it. I began this ritual for my roommates 21st and it has been amazing every time since its creation.
After a while of drinking and listening to Birthday Boy complain about having to wear the tower of power shirt, that I so generously created for him, we decide to begin the usual bar rounds. At the first bar we start with a round of shots followed by a few more and before long Birthday Boy is more than comfortable in his new shirt and, in fact, is beginning to take pride in it, showing people everything that he has in store for the night. Low and behold there is one brave individual that wishes to be a part of this memorable evening and drops his pants in the middle of the bar to let Birthday Boy sign his buttocks and cross his first task off the list, and it is official, the night has begun.
We continue to stagger from bar to bar and make a mockery of this night with birthday shenanigans, not asking but yelling at anyone and everyone to help us complete this laundry list of tasks written on this now alcohol stained t-shirt. Surprisingly Birthday Boy is doing quite well with the list. Motorboat a bartender, gone, make money working the pole, did it, give a stranger a lap dance, easy, he even managed to cross off the body shot off of a dude (the most entertaining thing I have ever witnessed at the bar in years). However, despite all of the begging and pleading of over half a dozen times, one of the few that Birthday Boy was unable to accomplish (have yet to be seen done), rock-paper-scissor a police officer.
